Monday, February 4, 2013
Rules of Online Dating
Due to a number of unfortunate meetings occurring because of online dating, I've decided I need a set of rules to abide by for all future encounters. This is not (and likely never will be) a complete list, but I'm posting it here for all you readers (all none of you) to see. I'm also listing the first name of each girl this applies to from my experience.
Be wary of women that message you first. There’s a reason men have historically been the pursuers. Crazy, desperate women message first (Andrea, Jolene). I've also found this to be true in real life. Girls that approach guys tend to be sluttier, desperate, clingy, or all of the above. None of those terms make me think "I'd like to date her!" Again, this is from my personal experience.
If she doesn’t respond to a text or email, don’t bother. It’s over. (Andrea, Krystle, Autumn) This is just the way girls will be. If you're no longer interesting to them they will stop contacting you. In Andrea's case, I called her out for her silence after things had gone 'perfectly' (her words, not mine), and she told me that she was hoping to meet up in person to let me down and tell me she was crazy (paraphrasing). Instead of wasting my time and money on a future dinner/concert, I got it out of her beforehand. Just trust me, if you don't hear from them, don't bother contacting them.
If upon first meeting her you notice something she was hiding in her profile or pictures, stay away. She can’t be trusted to be truthful. (Clio….yikes) Examples include disguising one's weight by using past pictures or pictures from an odd angle; or hiding a big (read: HUGE) lump on her face by showing only pictures where her hair was covering that side. These girls are insecure to start with, aside from their physical appearance issues. DANGER.
If you really are interested in a girl, don’t sleep with her too soon. Build up the anticipation. (Andrea)
Don’t look at a profile more than once. If you are interested, send a message instead of a wink/flirt. Winks and flirts are creepy, and so is looking at the same profile repeatedly. It’s like being caught staring at a girl in a bar without ever going to talk to her.
Always have a backup ready unless you’ve actually committed to someone. NEVER assume you have a keeper just because things went well in the first date or two. (Andrea)
If it seems too good to be true, it is. Don’t fool yourself. (Andrea)
Monday, January 21, 2013
Adventures on the Internetz
I'm going to kick start this blog with stories about my many recent experiences in the world of online dating. Let me tell you, all(and I mean ALL) kinds of people, fucked up or not, are on the internet. I have met many of them.
My first online dating experience stretches way back to late 2009 when I decided to join OkCupid in an effort to find a girl to replace the one that left a giant hole in my life. Now I should preface this by saying I'm a decent looking guy, fairly athletic (I run marathons, no joke), and pretty smart (did I mention my MBA?). I would like to find someone similarly built (not necessarily a runner, but active), who is cute (totally subjective, I know), and has some brains (SOME, at the very least, for the love of god). You would be amazed at how deceptive people try to be with online dating profiles. Women and pictures of themselves? Holy shit they can make themselves look soooo much more attractive than they are in real life, just by a using a certain angle, or wearing certain clothing, certain lighting, or using a picture of themselves from 5 YEARS AGO.
Anyway, back to the topic. I had been chatting with this girl on and off for about a week, and decide to ask her out. She seemed cute(per her pictures), sounded active, maybe a bit redneckish for my taste, but what the hey. We agree to meet up for sushi at a great local sushi bar. Well guess who shows up? Certainly not the girl I'd seen online, but someone who may have eaten her. We had good conversation, but mostly because I wasn't focused in any way, shape or form on even attempting to hook up with her. In this case the biggest mistake I made was actually meeting up with her a second time (yeah, you read that right) just so I could break the bad news to her in person. Ugh. Rookie mistake.
I'm going to go ahead and skip a bunch of the other dates I've had in the past (saving those for later) and jump into the most recent. Just last week I got a message from a really cute girl out here who happened to notice that we had a ton in common. For reference, our match level was 96% (for those that are unaware, that's pretty fucking tough to do), she's atheist(i'm agnostic), we're both into music, we both like to smoke pot occasionally (hey, it's legal here, remember?), we even both work in insurance, for the love of christ.
After a couple days of messaging back and forth on OKC, we switched it up to gchat, where we literally chatted for hours 2-3 days in a row before our first date, in which I'd convinced her to come with me to a Gonzaga bar in town to watch the game (I'd managed to do this because it was against Portland, a team we crush usually, so I told her I'd pay more attention to her than the TV). As dumb as that may sound, we really hit it off, spent 4-5 hours talking and flirting, and after the second bar (don't worry, only had a couple drinks each) I walked her to her car and we spent a good couple minutes embracing in the cold, and then we kissed. One hell of a first date, right? I thought so too, especially after this text conversation we had that night, after getting home:
Her- Ummm you're a great kisser :)
Me- You aren't so bad yourself :). I had a great time
Her- This is what I'm looking at right now (picture of her dog)
Me- Hahaha cute
Her- I had a great time too!
Me- And for the record I'm excited to see you again tomorrow
Her- This one is even better! (another picture of her dog). I'm also excited to see you tomorrow, it will be a fun night :)
Me- Haha awww(referring to the dog picture). It will be fun!
Her- But really, can we talk about the awesome kiss? So many people suck at kissing. Props to you.
Me- Well, I am pretty awesome
Her- You are...
Me- But you deserve some props too. Not all girls are great kissers either.
Her- Well thanks! Glad you think so :)
Me- You're quite welcome! I hope for another opportunity!
Her- Oh I think you'll have your chance tomorrow :) tell me... do you ny chance have any weed at your place?
Her- Any*
Her- Wait.. I meant by* haha
Me- Hmmm, no, but I can get some. I'll need to ask a friend
Her- Ok, no worries if not. It would just be nice to smoke a little after such a busy week!
Me- Fair enough! I'll see what I can do, but no promises on short notice.
Her- I totally understand! I just thought of it now. I could just foresee it being fun... very very fun... :)
Ok I realize that was a lengthy conversation, but that's exactly how it went. I still have the damn thing saved in my phone. So the short story here is, we met up, planned on catching the last live show at the Queen Anne Easy Street Records but the line was way too long, so we ended up at a bar where we grabbed drinks and food. My buddy got back to me during dinner so we go pick up the weed at his place and head back to mine, where we popped open some wine and smoked a little. After this, we start making out and she proceeds rubbing my man region, then we scampered off to the bedroom where fun was had by all. After a few more flirty texts the next morning all went silent for a couple of days, which is when I got really confused, and a little (or so I thought) paranoid that she didn't want to see me again. Turns out I was almost completely right.
That following Monday, after being on practical radio silence with her for a couple days, I found a concert I thought we'd both enjoy that was happening Wednesday night, so I asked her about it. She responded sure, I'm getting my ticket now. After a couple more texts back and forth it was clear that she wasn't the same person that I had been chatting with the prior week, so I asked, 'Soooo is something up? You seem a lot less responsive the last few days. Am I just paranoid?' I could post the entire conversation we had after this, but it's practically novel length, so I'll post the main one:
The reason I have had little success with relationships is because the men I generally date, whether I consciously know it or not initially, fear commitment. And as crazy as this sounds, the reason I seek out these men is because I am subconsciously fearful of commitment myself. so I meet an awesome guy like you who is way into me and shows no signs of commitment phobia, and initially I think this is perfect. But then, like an idiot, I rush things and all of a sudden, this subconscious fear of commitment surfaces, and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. So that's the best I have for an explanation. I am messed up, even if it doesn't seem that way to most people who think they know me well.
Why is it that I continuously wonder why I'm single? Oh yeah, because women are insane. I should also add that I TURNED DOWN another cute (but less so) girl to go on another date with this one. On the bright side I got laid and a free concert ticket out of the deal, after shelling out a ton of money on the first two dates (and weed). FML.
My first online dating experience stretches way back to late 2009 when I decided to join OkCupid in an effort to find a girl to replace the one that left a giant hole in my life. Now I should preface this by saying I'm a decent looking guy, fairly athletic (I run marathons, no joke), and pretty smart (did I mention my MBA?). I would like to find someone similarly built (not necessarily a runner, but active), who is cute (totally subjective, I know), and has some brains (SOME, at the very least, for the love of god). You would be amazed at how deceptive people try to be with online dating profiles. Women and pictures of themselves? Holy shit they can make themselves look soooo much more attractive than they are in real life, just by a using a certain angle, or wearing certain clothing, certain lighting, or using a picture of themselves from 5 YEARS AGO.
Anyway, back to the topic. I had been chatting with this girl on and off for about a week, and decide to ask her out. She seemed cute(per her pictures), sounded active, maybe a bit redneckish for my taste, but what the hey. We agree to meet up for sushi at a great local sushi bar. Well guess who shows up? Certainly not the girl I'd seen online, but someone who may have eaten her. We had good conversation, but mostly because I wasn't focused in any way, shape or form on even attempting to hook up with her. In this case the biggest mistake I made was actually meeting up with her a second time (yeah, you read that right) just so I could break the bad news to her in person. Ugh. Rookie mistake.
I'm going to go ahead and skip a bunch of the other dates I've had in the past (saving those for later) and jump into the most recent. Just last week I got a message from a really cute girl out here who happened to notice that we had a ton in common. For reference, our match level was 96% (for those that are unaware, that's pretty fucking tough to do), she's atheist(i'm agnostic), we're both into music, we both like to smoke pot occasionally (hey, it's legal here, remember?), we even both work in insurance, for the love of christ.
After a couple days of messaging back and forth on OKC, we switched it up to gchat, where we literally chatted for hours 2-3 days in a row before our first date, in which I'd convinced her to come with me to a Gonzaga bar in town to watch the game (I'd managed to do this because it was against Portland, a team we crush usually, so I told her I'd pay more attention to her than the TV). As dumb as that may sound, we really hit it off, spent 4-5 hours talking and flirting, and after the second bar (don't worry, only had a couple drinks each) I walked her to her car and we spent a good couple minutes embracing in the cold, and then we kissed. One hell of a first date, right? I thought so too, especially after this text conversation we had that night, after getting home:
Her- Ummm you're a great kisser :)
Me- You aren't so bad yourself :). I had a great time
Her- This is what I'm looking at right now (picture of her dog)
Me- Hahaha cute
Her- I had a great time too!
Me- And for the record I'm excited to see you again tomorrow
Her- This one is even better! (another picture of her dog). I'm also excited to see you tomorrow, it will be a fun night :)
Me- Haha awww(referring to the dog picture). It will be fun!
Her- But really, can we talk about the awesome kiss? So many people suck at kissing. Props to you.
Me- Well, I am pretty awesome
Her- You are...
Me- But you deserve some props too. Not all girls are great kissers either.
Her- Well thanks! Glad you think so :)
Me- You're quite welcome! I hope for another opportunity!
Her- Oh I think you'll have your chance tomorrow :) tell me... do you ny chance have any weed at your place?
Her- Any*
Her- Wait.. I meant by* haha
Me- Hmmm, no, but I can get some. I'll need to ask a friend
Her- Ok, no worries if not. It would just be nice to smoke a little after such a busy week!
Me- Fair enough! I'll see what I can do, but no promises on short notice.
Her- I totally understand! I just thought of it now. I could just foresee it being fun... very very fun... :)
Ok I realize that was a lengthy conversation, but that's exactly how it went. I still have the damn thing saved in my phone. So the short story here is, we met up, planned on catching the last live show at the Queen Anne Easy Street Records but the line was way too long, so we ended up at a bar where we grabbed drinks and food. My buddy got back to me during dinner so we go pick up the weed at his place and head back to mine, where we popped open some wine and smoked a little. After this, we start making out and she proceeds rubbing my man region, then we scampered off to the bedroom where fun was had by all. After a few more flirty texts the next morning all went silent for a couple of days, which is when I got really confused, and a little (or so I thought) paranoid that she didn't want to see me again. Turns out I was almost completely right.
That following Monday, after being on practical radio silence with her for a couple days, I found a concert I thought we'd both enjoy that was happening Wednesday night, so I asked her about it. She responded sure, I'm getting my ticket now. After a couple more texts back and forth it was clear that she wasn't the same person that I had been chatting with the prior week, so I asked, 'Soooo is something up? You seem a lot less responsive the last few days. Am I just paranoid?' I could post the entire conversation we had after this, but it's practically novel length, so I'll post the main one:
The reason I have had little success with relationships is because the men I generally date, whether I consciously know it or not initially, fear commitment. And as crazy as this sounds, the reason I seek out these men is because I am subconsciously fearful of commitment myself. so I meet an awesome guy like you who is way into me and shows no signs of commitment phobia, and initially I think this is perfect. But then, like an idiot, I rush things and all of a sudden, this subconscious fear of commitment surfaces, and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. So that's the best I have for an explanation. I am messed up, even if it doesn't seem that way to most people who think they know me well.
Why is it that I continuously wonder why I'm single? Oh yeah, because women are insane. I should also add that I TURNED DOWN another cute (but less so) girl to go on another date with this one. On the bright side I got laid and a free concert ticket out of the deal, after shelling out a ton of money on the first two dates (and weed). FML.
Intro
Well hello there, all you readers. My name is Bryan and this is my new blog, which I'm creating as a time killer. Perhaps it turns into more than that, considering I have many things to complain about, and observations of life as a young professional in general. That said, I guess I should give a quick introduction into my life and background which all of the zero people that read this blog will see.
I'm a single 28 year old professional with an MBA that just moved out to Seattle not more than 6 months ago. I've lived my entire life in the amazing state of Washington and have zero regrets about it. I work in an industry few have heard of (Surety, look it up), but it closely related to insurance and construction. Hey you in the back, please stop snoring when I'm typing. Thank you.
I moved out here from Spokane where I attended the oh-so-amazing Gonzaga University. If you haven't heard of it, I'm guessing you don't watch college basketball, so ultimately I don't care about you. Yeah, I'm asking you to leave. Toward the end of my undergrad tenure and into my graduate degree I met a girl that (at the time) I considered the love of my life. Well, perhaps you'd noticed the 'single 28 year old professional' title I gave myself earlier. If so, you know how that worked out for me. Since then I've been trying to meet another lady friend but the efforts seem to get continuously more and more frustrating, and so I am here.
I'm a single 28 year old professional with an MBA that just moved out to Seattle not more than 6 months ago. I've lived my entire life in the amazing state of Washington and have zero regrets about it. I work in an industry few have heard of (Surety, look it up), but it closely related to insurance and construction. Hey you in the back, please stop snoring when I'm typing. Thank you.
I moved out here from Spokane where I attended the oh-so-amazing Gonzaga University. If you haven't heard of it, I'm guessing you don't watch college basketball, so ultimately I don't care about you. Yeah, I'm asking you to leave. Toward the end of my undergrad tenure and into my graduate degree I met a girl that (at the time) I considered the love of my life. Well, perhaps you'd noticed the 'single 28 year old professional' title I gave myself earlier. If so, you know how that worked out for me. Since then I've been trying to meet another lady friend but the efforts seem to get continuously more and more frustrating, and so I am here.
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