Rules of Online Dating

Due to a number of unfortunate meetings occurring because of online dating, I've decided I need a set of rules to abide by for all future encounters.  This is not (and likely never will be) a complete list, but I'm posting it here for all you readers (all none of you) to see.  I'm also listing the first name of each girl this applies to from my experience.

Be wary of women that message you first.  There’s a reason men have historically been the pursuers.  Crazy, desperate women message first (Andrea, Jolene).  I've also found this to be true in real life.  Girls that approach guys tend to be sluttier, desperate, clingy, or all of the above.  None of those terms make me think "I'd like to date her!"  Again, this is from my personal experience.

If she doesn’t respond to a text or email, don’t bother.  It’s over. (Andrea, Krystle, Autumn)  This is just the way girls will be.  If you're no longer interesting to them they will stop contacting you.  In Andrea's case, I called her out for her silence after things had gone 'perfectly' (her words, not mine), and she told me that she was hoping to meet up in person to let me down and tell me she was crazy (paraphrasing).  Instead of wasting my time and money on a future dinner/concert, I got it out of her beforehand.  Just trust me, if you don't hear from them, don't bother contacting them.

If upon first meeting her you notice something she was hiding in her profile or pictures, stay away.  She can’t be trusted to be truthful. (Clio….yikes)  Examples include disguising one's weight by using past pictures or pictures from an odd angle; or hiding a big (read:  HUGE) lump on her face by showing only pictures where her hair was covering that side.  These girls are insecure to start with, aside from their physical appearance issues.  DANGER.

If you really are interested in a girl, don’t sleep with her too soon.  Build up the anticipation. (Andrea)

Don’t look at a profile more than once.  If you are interested, send a message instead of a wink/flirt.  Winks and flirts are creepy, and so is looking at the same profile repeatedly.  It’s like being caught staring at a girl in a bar without ever going to talk to her.

Always have a backup ready unless you’ve actually committed to someone.  NEVER assume you have a keeper just because things went well in the first date or two. (Andrea)

If it seems too good to be true, it is.  Don’t fool yourself. (Andrea)